The Guitar Shop Set

Seven runs that sound harder than they are. Every one is a shape, not a lick you have to remember; you can play it on a guitar you've never touched, at conversation volume, and the person behind the counter will assume there's more where that came from. All pitches machine-checked. Tempos are guides: slow and clean beats fast and ragged every single time.

One hand

1. The waterfall

A minor pentatonic, 17th–14th fret · triplets · 100–120 bpm · any pickup, clean or edge
e|--17-15-------------------------------------| B|--------17-15-------------------------------| G|--------------17-14-------------------------| D|--------------------17-14-------------------| A|--------------------------17-15-------------| E|--------------------------------17-15--14~~-| two notes per string, top to bottom, hammer nothing, pick everything
Why it works — descending across all six strings reads as "range" to a listener. It's the same two-note shape moved down. Finish on the low E 14 with a slow vibrato so it lands somewhere.
Trap — don't speed up as you descend. Everyone does.
One hand

2. The open-string cascade

E minor pentatonic with open strings · loose, rubato · clean, neck pickup, guitar volume 7
e|--7p5p0-----------------------------------------| B|--------8p5p0-----------------------------------| G|--------------9p7p0-----------------------------| D|--------------------9p7p0-----------------------| A|--------------------------7p5p0-----------------| E|--------------------------------7p5p0---0~~~~~~-| pick the first note of each string only. the rest is pull-offs
Why it works — three notes per string with two of them free. It sounds like a harp and costs nothing. On a semi-hollow this is the run: the open strings ring against the body and you hear exactly what the guitar is.
Trap — pull off sideways toward the floor, not straight up, or the open string won't sound.
Both hands

3. The slip

A Dorian, 12th position, ascending · even eighths, then loosen · 90 bpm · this is the Landau one
e|----------------------------------12-15/17~~~-| B|--------------------------12-13-15------------| G|------------------12h14-----------------------| D|----------12h14-------------------------------| A|--12h14h15------------------------------------| slide the last 15 to 17 and shake it
Why it works — it's a scale, but hammered so the notes blur, and it ends above the 15th fret with a slide, which is where "player" lives in a shop. The 13 on the B string is the Dorian colour; lean on it.
Trap — hammer-ons on a stranger's guitar with a high action will be weak. If they are, that's information about the setup, not about you.
Both hands

4. The fake sweep

A minor arpeggio, 12th position · up then down · 80 bpm, then push · bridge pickup, a bit of gain
e|--------------12-17p12--------------| B|-----------13----------13-----------| G|--------14----------------14--------| D|-----14----------------------14-----| A|--12----------------------------12--| one finger per string, roll the pick down then up. don't actually sweep, just pick softly and let it flow
Why it works — arpeggios up and down across five strings look like technique. The finger-roll on the D and G strings (both 14, same finger, roll it) is the only hard bit and nobody can see it.
Trap — the strings must not ring together or it's a chord. Lift each finger as the next lands.
One hand

5. The engine

A minor pentatonic box, 8th fret · six-note loop, sextuplets · 60 bpm up to as fast as it stays clean · gain
e|--8-5-----------8-5-----------8-5------------| B|------8-5---5-------8-5---5-------8-5---5----| G|----------7---------------7---------------7--| repeat until it feels like a motor. exit with a bend on B15
Why it works — the Clapton/Zakk repeating six. It's fast because it's tiny. Start it slow, double it, double it again, stop dead. The stop is the impressive part.
Trap — keep the picking strictly alternate. If you cheat with pull-offs it drifts.
One hand

6. The sixths

A minor, harmonised 6ths on G and e strings · slow, slide into every pair · clean, neck or middle · the country-soul move Landau steals
e|--5---8---10---12---13---15--| G|--5---7----9---10---12---14--| mute the B string with the underside of the fretting finger. slide up into each pair from a fret below
Why it works — two notes at once, moving in harmony, sounds like a whole section. Go up slowly, come back down faster, finish on the 5/5 pair and let it hang.
Trap — if the B string rings you've got a triad, which is fine, but it's a different thing.
Nerve

7. The chromatic exit

Chromatic descent to A · straight eighths, swing them slightly · 90 bpm · tone rolled down, jazz-box voice
B|--10-9-8----------------------| G|---------9-8-7----------------| D|---------------9-8-7----------| A|---------------------7~~~~~~~-| three per string, walking down, land on A and stop
Why it works — chromatic runs sound like jazz knowledge. It's a finger per fret walking down the neck. Landing on the A after all that "wrongness" resolves it and the room relaxes, and you put the guitar down.
Trap — the A at the end must be in time and confident. The whole run is a setup for one note.

The set, in order

About ninety seconds. Play it once. Anything you'd add is subtraction.

  1. Cascade (2), clean, neck pickup, guitar volume 7. Lets the room hear the wood.
  2. Sixths (6), same settings. Slide in, slow. Establishes you have taste.
  3. The slip (3), guitar volume to 10. Ends high on the neck with a slide. Establishes you can play.
  4. Engine (5), bridge pickup, kick in the gain if there is any. Slow, double, double, stop dead.
  5. Chromatic exit (7), tone rolled to 4. Walk down, land on A, mute, stand.

Waterfall and fake sweep are the spares: swap either in for the engine on a guitar with a soft bridge pickup, because the engine will expose it.

Every fret in every tab was checked against the chromatic index (open E A D G B E = 4 9 2 7 11 4) and confirmed inside the scale named. Notation: h hammer, p pull, / slide up, ~ vibrato.