Seven zones you can drop into cold, in a shop, on a guitar you've never played. Each one has a dice table so it never comes out the same twice, and each one quietly tests something about the instrument while it sounds like you meant it. Roll a session, pick the guitar up, go.
Four zones, a key, a tempo, and one wildcard. Play it in order, roughly twelve minutes, then put the guitar down and say something considered.
Hold it up, sight down the neck from the bridge end. Tune by ear against the 5th/7th-fret harmonics, not the shop tuner. Then play this walk on the top string, every fret, slow, with a hard pick attack, listening for anything that chokes or buzzes.
| Roll | Then finish with |
|---|---|
| 1–2 | Open E, strum once, hand over the soundhole / f-hole / body — feel how long it vibrates |
| 3–4 | Open A6/9 x04420, let it ring, tap the body with a knuckle |
| 5–6 | Harmonics at 12, 7, 5 on every string, listen for the ones that die early |
Roll for the loop, then play it as slow double-stops and hammer-ons around the shapes, Hendrix-style, not full strums. Keep the right hand light. Slide into every chord from a fret below.
| Roll | Loop | Shapes |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | E9 → A6/9 | 0x0102 → x04420 |
| 2 | Dmaj7 → C#m7 → Bm7 | xx0222 → x46454 → x24232 |
| 3 | Am(add9) → F#m11 | x02410 → 2x2200 |
| 4 | Em9 → D6/9 | 022032 → xx0200 |
| 5 | G13 → A13 | 3x345x → 5x567x |
| 6 | Pick any two above, play them as arpeggios only |
Halfway through, roll the guitar volume from 7 to 10 to 4 without stopping. Then flick to the middle position and repeat the last bar.
Roll for the pair. Play eight bars of relaxed melody in the first room, then move to the second without a gap, staying in the same position on the neck. Only one note changes between them, find it, lean on it.
| Roll | Room A | Room B | Position |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1–2 | E Dorian | A Dorian | 7th–10th fret |
| 3–4 | A Dorian | D Dorian | 5th–8th fret |
| 5–6 | G Dorian | C Dorian | 10th–13th fret |
Then take the same melody up an octave and finish it above the 15th fret, thumb over the top if you can.
| Roll | Variation |
|---|---|
| 1–2 | Unison bends: 13th fret B string bent up to meet 12th fret E string, four times, listen for the beating |
| 3–4 | Same lick, but every bend is pre-bent and released, no upward bends at all |
| 5–6 | Same lick played entirely with hammer-ons and pull-offs, no bends, then one huge bend at the end |
After the big bends, hit an open chord. Is it still in tune?
Palm-muted low-string work in the roll's key. Tight eighths, a fifth chord on beat one of every second bar, one open-string pedal note under everything. Keep it short and sure. Riffs impress more than solos in a shop because everyone solos.
| Roll | Key / pedal | Feel |
|---|---|---|
| 1–2 | E, open low E pedal | Straight, AC/DC gaps between hits |
| 3–4 | A, open A pedal, add the b5 (D#) as a passing note | Gallop, 1-and-a |
| 5–6 | D drop-feel without dropping: D on the 5th fret A string as the pedal | Half-time, ring the fifths |
Wes octaves with the thumb, then a two-chord turnaround. Play it lazy. This is the zone where a hollowbody either earns its price or doesn't.
| Roll | Turnaround | Shapes |
|---|---|---|
| 1–3 | G13 → C#m7 (tritone-ish cheat, sounds clever) | 3x345x → x46454 |
| 4–6 | Bm7 → E9 → A6/9 | x24232 → 0x0102 → x04420 |
Ninth-chord funk, muted 16ths, chord on the "and" of two. Move the shape around the neck. Right hand does all the work; left hand barely presses.
| Roll | Shape and move |
|---|---|
| 1–2 | E9 0x0102 up to F9 at the 1st fret then back, sliding into it |
| 3–4 | A13 5x567x with a chromatic slide up from a fret below |
| 5–6 | Em9 022032 against a muted-string scratch, only strike it on the 4 |
Roll for it, play it once with wide slow vibrato on the last note, let it ring, then mute everything with the palm and put the guitar back on the stand. Do not noodle after.
| Roll | Exit |
|---|---|
| 1–2 | Slide up the whole neck on the G string into a 14b16 with a half-bar of vibrato |
| 3–4 | A6/9 arpeggio slow, top to bottom, let the open E hang |
| 5–6 | Two-note harmony: 12th fret B and E strings, bend the B up a whole tone into the E, hold |
Rolled into every session. Play the whole session under the constraint.
Fill it in on the phone before you leave the shop, not in the car. 1 to 5.
| Fretwork, setup, no chokes (Zone 0) | 3 |
| Acoustic resonance, unplugged voice (Zone 0) | 3 |
| Neck pickup clarity and balance (Zone 1) | 3 |
| Pots: volume taper and tone roll-off (Zones 1, 5) | 3 |
| Intonation and upper-fret access (Zone 2) | 3 |
| Sustain, no dead spots, tuning after bends (Zone 3) | 3 |
| Bridge pickup tightness under gain (Zone 4) | 3 |
| Does it sound different from what you own (Zone 5) | 3 |
| Standing ergonomics, weight, balance (Zone 6) | 3 |
| Would you reach for it on a Tuesday night | 3 |
Total 30 / 50 Under 35, walk. 35–42, sleep on it. Over 42, that's the guitar.
All voicings machine-checked against the chromatic index before this went out. The dice are real dice: roll a phone, a d6, or just the Roll button.